Inside the Men’s Locker Room

Inside the Men’s Locker Room – Common Questions

There are many questions that have come to me about locker rooms, change rooms, or whatever you call them and it is interesting how similar and at the same time different they can be.  Straight guys have some concerns, as do gay guys and, honestly, I am surprised that no one really talks about it, or at least no one around me, except the guys that ask me quietly, when no one is around.  I don’t get the secrecy or shyness, I guess there is a bit of fear on both sides since they are rooms where guys are naked and completely exposed.

Just because I feel like it, I am going to throw my two cents into the sauna and reveal the questions I have been asked, and the answers I have come up with (some on my own and some through informal polling of the people asking.)  So lets head to the locker room, strip down, have a quick shower, and sit down (with or without a towel, I don’t care – I’m not afraid of your junk) while I try to reveal some truths.

guys in locker room

Not your average locker room

Are the gay guys in the locker room checking me out?

(asked by numerous straight guys)

The quick answer is yes, obviously.  Why wouldn’t they?  But it is probably not for sexual reasons.  If you’re a straight guy, be honest with yourself – you look too.  Every guy in every locker room looks around at the other guys for several reasons.  First – we are comparing dick size, we all do it and we all know it, but we don’t talk about it cause unless you’re making a joke, our cocks are not up for discussion.  We want to know how we measure up, literally, to other guys.  That is a trait shared by all men regardless of whether they are gay or straight, we love our dicks and we compare all the time.  The unstated part two of that question is “Are gay guys going to look at my cock – lose control of their senses and make a pass at me?”  Another quick answer – No, that will not happen.

When guys are looking around the locker room they are checking all kinds of things out, straight and gay.  Aside from comparing dick size, we are looking at muscle definition, wrinkles, height, weight, tan lines, your towel, your clothes, your hair – on your head and everywhere else.  In short, when you are in a locker room, at some point, someone is checking out virtually everything about you and comparing it to themselves.  I feel the need to point out that there are some guys that don’t give a shit about anyone else in the room and just use it for what it is – a place to shower and change after a workout.  I also need to say that some locker rooms have a reputation for being a place where guys go cruising – meaning they are looking for quick and anonymous sex with a stranger – gay guys looking to hook up and straight guys looking for something their wives or girlfriends won’t give them.  This usually happens in secret and the guys that are looking for that don’t bother the guys that aren’t.  If it happens, it’s usually in a locker room or place that has a reputation for it.  If you aren’t the type of guy that is interested in anonymous sex – you probably won’t even realize it is happening so don’t even worry about it, go on with your life.

Guy peeking around corner

Guy peeking

Are the straight guys in the locker room going to beat me up if they see me checking them out?

(asked by gay guys)

Probably not.  If a straight guy sees you take a casual glance at his crotch or ass or any other part of his body and then look away – then no, they are doing it too.  If you take a long, lingering stare at their cock while licking your lips or fingering your own ass – then most likely yes and frankly, that is harassment and acting like a perv has consequences.  The straight guys know they are being looked at because they are looking at the other guys as well.

Are the straight guys in the locker room worried that I’m going to make a pass at them?

Yes, some of them are worried about that exact thing happening, and usually they have this fear because they don’t know any gay guys (or think they don’t) and just have no idea about what gay guys do or think about.  They know that they think about sex a lot because they are men, and men think about sex a lot.  They also know the thoughts that flash through their heads when they see a woman they are attracted too and they are afraid gay guys think that way about them.  Basically, if you’re gay – don’t be pervy, and if you’re straight, don’t be jerk.  If you look – be subtle, and if you get looked at – ignore it or take it as a compliment and go on with your day.

Should I wear a towel in the locker room if I don’t have any clothes on?

(gay and straight wonder about this)

Dealer’s choice really.  If you want to cover go ahead and do it, not every guy is comfortable being naked with other guys in the locker room.  Some guys spend a lot of time working on their body and just want to show it off to as many people as possible, some just don’t care either way.  Keep in mind if you decide to go naked that and you end up having to squeeze past other guys getting to your locker – be polite and don’t rub your cock or ass in their face as you go by.  If the shower facilities consist of one big room with 20 shower heads around the outside wall then throwing a towel on afterwards is kind of pointless since you just lathered up in front of everyone already anyway.  You can always put on a jockstrap or other underwear after showering and while doing whatever else you do in the locker room.  There are some shy guys out their that wear a bathing suit in the shower and then change, whatever works.

Vine of guy in a locker room with vanishing clothes

Should I wear shoes or sandals in the locker room?

Locker room floors are filthy. If you have a fungal infection on your feet – namely athletes foot – then wear sandals or shower booties.  If you don’t have athlete’s foot and don’t want to get it – then wear sandals or shower booties.  There are other infections as well but athletes foot is pretty rampant in locker rooms, easily treatable but damn uncomfortable in the meantime.

What about the jacuzzi or whirlpool?

I’ve never really figured out why these can even be found in locker rooms, especially public ones. The jacuzzi is generally a giant bowl of water, chlorine, sweat, piss, spit, and other fluids and shed body parts simmering all day (or longer, depending on how often it gets cleaned and drained) and swirling around that some men find relaxing to baste themselves in after a hard workout.  If this idea appeals to you, then by all means indulge.  I, on the other hand, will stick to a long, hot shower or sauna.

men in a hot tub

Group bath

Do I have to wear clothes in the sauna?

Some clubs or gyms have rules about this – check it out before you accidentally break them.  If there is a sauna in the locker room and if no such rules exist, then its up to you but here are a few things to consider before you go in to the sauna.  Everyone should at least take a towel in with them for a few reasons:  Reason the first, even if you don’t wrap it around yourself you should sit on the towel for sanitary reasons – meaning so you don’t sit in some of the various body fluids that ooze out of the men sitting there before you;  second for health reasons – you can get jock itch in a sauna and it is possible – though remote – to get crabs (lice that live on your dick and ass) if some jumped from the previous occupant;  third, for modesty – while sitting there relaxing, if you start to daydream about your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend or any random thought that gets you turned on, you may need to cover a, not completely unexpected, hard on.  Yes, it happens to all of us, we have erections and occasionally at inappropriate times and if you want to be able to conceal it instead of running out of the room with your dick slapping against your stomach while bolting back to the locker room then the towel will help, if you don’t care then fine let it grow in front of everyone but don’t get pissy about other guys looking, staring or leaving.  Also, just sit in the sauna and relax, don’t start doing yoga, or pacing back and forth, or stretch out on the bench and lie down – I’ve seen all of this happen and it is rude to the other people in there as well as inappropriate, unless it’s where they are hosting the hot yoga class.

Are guys gonna look at my ass if I drop the soap in the shower?

(insert my laughter for about 10 minutes)

Unless you’re making a prison porn movie don’t be an idiot, just pick it up and carry on.

drop the soap

Locker room fear

What if I accidentally bump up against another guy while getting dressed in the locker room?

(very nervous straight guy asked this)

Really?  Say “excuse me” or “sorry” and continue getting dressed.

naked guy in the locker room

Naked guy with no boundaries in the locker room

I’ve seen guys shaving, doing their hair and all kinds of stuff in the locker room – is this normal?

Yes.  Some guys go to the gym right before, right after or during work so they have to clean themselves up to be presentable when they get back to work or before they go on a date, or whatever.  That is one of the purposes of the locker room, for all intents and purposes it serves the same function as your own bathroom at home except it is communal.

I am shy/embarrassed/nervous/whatever and I don’t want to change in front of other guys in the locker room, is it okay to use the bathroom stalls?

It’s a little weird but yes, go ahead.  You may want to consider finding a different gym or club that has more private locker room facilities.

Shy guy in the shower

Shower shy in the locker room

Last but not least, even if they are not posted, here are some general rules for all locker rooms:

  • Don’t spit on the floor
  • Don’t pee in the shower
  • Don’t jerk off anywhere
  • Clean up after yourself
  • Be polite and respectful of the other men
  • Don’t be a jerk
  • Don’t let other people be jerks
  • If you see someone doing something wrong or illegal confront them if you feel comfortable or tell management

If I missed anything, let me know – jarod@bluesquare.clothing – or give me your opinions about locker room etiquette I would love to hear them.

Thanks, Jarod

Sponsored partly by www.bluesquareclothing.com – socks, ties and underwear for men.

Tips For Picking Great Underwear

Proper Fit + Comfort = Great Underwear for Men

Trust me – there is more to picking underwear than just looking for the cheapest multipak of bargain tighty whities on the shelf.  If you want to find the most comfortable underwear that you can then I have a few tips for picking great underwear.   Most men spend a significant portion of their waking hours in underwear of some sort, either briefs, boxers, trunks, jockstraps or g-strings.

The first step, obviously, is to decide what style you want (don’t limit yourself to one and only one style or brand – guys are terrible for this.  We find something we like and we hang on to it like grim death).  There are a few examples above, I will briefly touch on their differences:

  • Briefs – they get their name from the fact that they are brief – they provide full coverage in the front and back and are the most common
  • Boxers – when I refer to boxers I will be talking about the form-fitting still pictured above, not the loose and baggy things that almost no one wears anymore.  These provide full coverage in the front and back but also go farther down the thighs
  • Trunks – basically a square-cut boxer – usually with a lower waist and higher leg on the thigh
  • Jockstraps – a pouch in the front to hold your cock and open in the back with leg straps going from the side waistband under each butt cheek and connecting to the bottom of the pouch between your legs
  • G-string – a pouch in the front connected at the waist to a string waistband with another string going from the back of the waistband between your ass cheeks and connecting to the bottom of the pouch between your legs

Once you decide on a style then there are 4 different parts of your body that you should take into consideration before you even start actually looking for some new undies:

  1. Your waist – or if you are looking for low-rise then wherever the waistband of the undies will sit.
  2. Your legs, particularly upper thigh
  3. The size of your dick
  4. Your ass

Where is your waist

When Measuring the waistline use a measuring tape and wrap it around your waist and firmly (but not too tight) along where the elastic waistband would be, roughly 1/2 to 2/3 of the way down the line from your belly button to the base of your shaft (pictured below)

undies-waistline

Waistline

Keep in mind this is a personal preference thing as well, some guys like it a little higher, some a little lower – that is up to you but the measurement taken here will usually translate well for an inch or two in either direction.  The number you get will be your waist size.  Most mens underwear is sized according to small, medium, large and x-large (and so on) and it is important to look at what these four sizes translate to in number form – they differ between manufacturers.  A medium from brand X could fit a waist size 30 – 33 whereas brand Z has it fitting 32 – 35 – check it out before buying.  You don’t want to end up spending $20 on a pair of underwear that leaves a semi-permanent mark on you for a few hours after taking them off, especially since underwear can NOT be returned at any reputable website or store.

What about your thighs

Measuring your legs is generally more important if you have thick legs due to working out a lot or if you are overweight.  Underwear can become very uncomfortable very quickly if it feels like you have a tight elastic band wrapped around your thigh.  Depending on the type of underwear you are getting, where you measure may change (see the image below).

thigh line

Thigh Line

The pink line (top) for briefs, the blue line (middle) for trunks, and the green line (bottom) for boxers (the length of boxers may vary by design or brand).  It is safe to say that for most people the width of the leg holes will coincide nicely with the waistline, this really is only a potential problem for men with thick thighs.  you most likely already know if this is an issue for you and if it is a way around uncomfortably tight underwear is to get boxers or long boxers since they come down further on your thighs.  If you have a problem with the legs riding up then you may want to consider a brand with a looser design around the leg holes.

Your Ass

This really only matters if you have large butt – sometimes called a bubble butt.  Average butt sized people can skip to the next section.

The only issue (if you want to call it that) that generally appears here is the line across your ass cheeks that appears when you either try to force a nice big ass into undies that are too small or too tight usually caused with briefs.  In extreme cases it can look like you have four ass cheeks but if you don’t care then I don’t either, if you do care then just don’t wear briefs, something with a longer leg,r a jockstrap or g-string and the quadra-ass will disappear.

Your Dick

Now the last big floppy thing to deal with.  If you are an average sized guy, I am referring to your cock size, then simply go with the small, medium, large and so on sizing mentioned earlier.  However, if you are of the above average cock sized men out there then you may want to make some extra considerations.  Cramming a huge dick into small underwear may look good when sexting or strutting around a porn set where they will be peeled off fairly soon, but in the real world it can be uncomfortable to painful after being coiled up in there for a few hours or longer.  Also if you end up just stuffing down along your leg then excessive sweating and itching can be another issue.

 

A lot of guys with extra-large dicks will just opt to freeball or go commando whenever possible but that isn’t always appropriate (see my last post about VPL).  The easiest way to provide comfort and support is to get a tighter fitting underwear that has a loose pouch sewn onto the front and get a size larger than your waist size would dictate.  What I mean is if you normally wear a medium then consider getting a large.  The larger size will provide a bit more room, and the loose pouch will provide more room and still give some support (an earlier post about pouches in mens underwear).   Search around for brands, and pay attention to the type of pouch.  This can make a real difference for your comfort.

Well there you have it, a few things to take into consideration when getting some new underwear in order to get the most comfortable kind you can.  If you have any other tips, email me – jarod@bluesquare.clothing or if you think I’m full of shit email me that too.

Thanks, and come again,

Jarod

Thanks to Blue Square Clothing for sponsoring this post – use the code – BLOGME25 – and you’ll get 25% off underwear until June 30, 2015.